On the farm, winter has its own rhythm. Beneath the frost-covered paddocks and shorter days, there’s a sense of anticipation.

We all know spring is coming.

Lambing, calving, and the busiest stretch on the farming calendar are just around the corner. It can feel like a race against time, weather, and energy.

Even in winter, the demands on and off farm never really stop.

You’re up early in the dark, getting the kids off to the bus.

Still navigating muddy gateways, feeding out in the freezing wind.

Still juggling weekend sports, work, accounts, animal health, and the usual on-call pressures of farm life.

There’s also a quieter emotional weight that’s hard to put into words: the isolation, the pressure, and the sheer resilience it takes to keep going.

It’s quiet. Often invisible. And for rural women especially, it can feel like the cost of doing life well - the cost of choosing this lifestyle.

Rural women are capable and committed - often the glue that holds the operation (and the family) together. And because they’re so reliable, they’re often the ones saying yes, again and again.

The chance for a proper break rarely presents itself.

Even during these colder, darker, shorter days, it’s easy to keep pushing through - ignoring nature’s signals (and maybe those from your body) to slow down and gather strength for what’s ahead.

But what if you took your cues from nature and saw this season as a time to reset and build reserves for spring? Ask yourself what specifically gets in the way of enjoying spring? What drains your energy or feels overwhelming? Then set yourself up for success.

We don’t have to keep repeating the same patterns. We have choices - in what we do, how we do it, and how we respond to the pressure.

A helpful place to begin is noticing what gives and takes your energy. What matters most to you?

What would it look like to honour that more often?

Many of us have thoughts about productivity and self-worth that need updating. We can challenge the belief that we must always be available, always doing, always coping. Skills like setting boundaries, naming our needs, asking for support, and taking mindful breaks can help build a more sustainable way forward.

Stress doesn’t always look like panic. Sometimes it’s just an endless list, a tight chest, a short fuse.

Many rural women I know are “active relaxers” - they find calm in motion.

One of my clients created a Relaxation Menu with two lists: things that take under 20 minutes and those that take longer.

That way, even on busy days, she can still soothe her nervous system.

It can be as simple as drinking your morning cuppa on the verandah while listening to the birds, instead of sipping it on the run.

Or practising the phrase, “I’ll think about that,” instead of saying “yes” out of habit. These small shifts help you check in with yourself first - so you don’t end up depleted, stretched too thin, or resentful.

Above all, please remember you are not alone. It’s too easy for us to self-isolate, but we’re not meant to carry it all quietly.

We all long to feel seen, heard, and understood.

Honest conversations can strengthen us, our families, and our communities.

By Lynda Brodie

Lynda Brodie is a connection coach who farms with her husband Russell south of Ashburton.