The rain and freezing fog usually arrive right about now, and sometimes doesn’t let up until spring. Day after day, it can be cold and wet, and a lack of sun can mean that all duties on-farm feel hard.

In severe cases, there can be an exponential loss of stock, particularly newborn lambs, and sometimes severe flooding resulting in damage to infrastructure and fencing.

But the hardest thing to pinpoint and to solve can be the dampening of spirits.

Farmers that I speak to can get pretty downcast about poor weather – exasperated by low commodity prices, high interest rates, and a general feeling of gloom around the future of farming.

Who can blame us? It can be so dismal. So, what can we do?

I’ve read a lot of advice about this, and mostly I think we’re getting it right.

The number one thing you can do if you’re struggling is to talk to someone. It doesn’t have to be about your “feelings and emotions”, just shoot the breeze with someone you like well enough.

About seven minutes of meaningful connection will instantly pick your mood up.

Secondly, ensure that you are addressing the basics – are you getting enough sleep? Are you eating well? Are you moving your body? Do you try to find other ways than alcohol to offload stress?

But how can we be ok with something that we are inherently not ok with?

Our minds are built to try and solve problems - but when something is un-solve able, like endless rain and fog, sometimes the best solution is to accept the situation the way that it is without trying to change it.

The situation will be the way that it is, if you have feelings of anger and frustration around it, or if you do not.

By accepting what is, your feelings of frustration, anger, helplessness or whatever comes up for you WILL reduce.

This does not mean being fine with or resigning yourself to the situation. When we drop the struggle of frustration over how things “should” be, we are more likely to be able to accept the facts of the situation.

This in turn will make it more likely that you can move forward in the way that you choose.

This is an active response that feels counter-intuitive at first, but if nothing else has worked so far to help with your difficult thoughts over the situation, what have you got to lose?

“Showing up” for this experience means doing what has to be done and not denying whatever thoughts, emotions and feelings arise - it may feel uncomfortable at first, but it will help your mind to be clear enough to actually deal with your sodden winter reality, instead of pushing things away or getting angry at your family/workers.

Acceptance doesn’t have to mean being ok with something.

It doesn’t mean that you like it or want it.

Accepting something that we cannot control is to have willingness to experience what just is.

Know that you are doing a good job - a hard job with sometimes very little thanks, and a long spell of poor weather feels like a kick in the teeth.

Often, there is comfort in knowing that there is a shared or common experience of suffering.

There are a lot of you all in the same predicament. You are not alone in your frustration.

Finally, remember why you do what you do.

You’re a farmer and you probably became a farmer because you are passionate about the outdoors/animal care/ not being stuck in an office/caring for the land/farming lifestyle/raising children on a farm/etc.

Whatever the combination is for you, there are important values underpinning the reasons why you farm. Never lose sight of this.

You’re still here and you’re still trying to make the best of the situation because there are more important things at play for you - your life values as a farmer, a parent, a neighbour or friend.

Kathryn Wright

Registered Counsellor MNZAC www.kathrynwright.co.nz